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Joke of the Day

"So I got into a fight with a midget the other day... He was stood next to my girlfriend and said her hair smells nice."

"In politics we call it left-wing and right-wing because we are all a part of the same bird. And we are all being told what to do by bird brains."

"I took a poop in the elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole new level."

"hey baby. ever been with a man who uses the basket instead of a grocery cart. Im basically bicep curling these chickpeas haha its easy to me"

"Did you all hear about Diarrhea being hereditary? It supposedly runs in your Jeans."

"I told a little white lie... or a little black lie, because all lies matter"

"My wife left me for an Indian guy I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows."

"If men ejaculate semen does that mean women ejaculate sewomen?"

"I had doubts about buying a big metal cabinet with a locking door for my guns It turned out to be a safe purchase."

"The worst thing about babies is how little they appreciate all the sleep they get."