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Joke of the Day

"So I got into a fight with a midget the other day... He was stood next to my girlfriend and said her hair smells nice."

"What do you call a drunk blue hedgehog? Gin and sonic."

"My homemade bread turned out very well, kneadless to say."

"A man caught me applying chap stick, so I just started eating it so it wouldn't be weird."

"If TGIF means ""Thank God It's Friday"" Does SHIT mean ""So Happy It's Tuesday?"""

"[traffic stop] Officer: Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over? Me: *backseat full of penguins* Um, I'm guessing the aquarium called?"

"u think u had a bad day? smh think about the tree that just got cut down to make flyers for the next nickelback concert"

"What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito? ME-coli"

"My wife left me due to my obsession for classical music.. I hope she takes me Bach"

"Gravity makes a terrible friend. It's always holding you down."