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Joke of the Day

"Nothing is quite as scary as hearing your doorbell ring on the same night you made a blood sacrifice to the dark lord."

"Check up time. I've just been for my 6 month check up and everything seem to be going well until he slipped his finger in to check my prostate. I will not be using that dental practise again."

"According to the manual, I can have an extra ten Weight Watchers Points if I start breast feeding."

"Did you hear the one about to car that lost its tires? Apparently it was in a wheel hurry."

"If you start smacking people with your wife's purse she won't ask you to hold it for her anymore"

"Netflix suggested I watch my kids."

"To those who hate birds. I think they're pretty fly myself."

"How are a pizza maker and a gynecologist the same? They can both smell it, but they can't taste it."

"new book out: ""How I Fell Off a Cliff"" by Eileen Dover"

"What is the biggest compliment you can pay at a gay bar? Pushing in somebody's stool."