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Joke of the Day

"fog machine I was pissed off yesterday. So pissed off I threw my fog machine out the window. Something must have went wrong, because it misted."

"I asked a terrorist how his day was going... He said it was great, his son died in a car bombing. The only problem? His son borrowed his car."

"What do you call a drunk dinosaur? A Staggersaurus."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Its a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it"

"The Untamed Tiger by Claudia Armoff"

"What do you call a green man sitting on my porch? My n*gger and I'll paint him whatever color I want."

"""Oh I'll be your relationship status alright..."" -me sleeping outside this Taco Bell"

"Since Fall Out Boy broke up I want to start a female group called Fall Down Girl. There's no singing, we just get wasted and fall down a lot"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Boiler ! Boiler who ? Boiler egg for four minutes !"

"How many Suh Dude's does it take to change a lightbulb? None it's already lit fam suh"