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Joke of the Day
"What language do cats speak? Catonese"
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"Did you know they now sell 30 tog blankets? Duvet?"
"Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls are."
"Girl seeing my torn jeans Where'd you get those?! *remembers trying to pee on a hill & stumbling backwards through thorn bushes* The Gap."
"Why'd the chicken cross the road.? [reasons unknown]"
"*1st date* [Be cool, just dont let her know youre a 1st generation PS3] So where do y- *internal cooling fan drowns out entire conversation*"
"[Seance] *knock, knock* ME: Wh-who's there? [ouija board spells out A-T-C-H] ME: atch who? [spells out B-L-E-S-S-Y-O-U] ME: Dammit, Grandpa!"
"Sweden runs out of trash to recycle... ... Where's PewDiePie when you need him."
"A man's wife asks him: ""Have you ever considered having a threesome with me for a change?"" ""To be honest, having twosomes with you would be already be a change"""
"What did Donald Trump say when he couldn't find his Viagra? The erection is rigged!"