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Joke of the Day

"Buy a man a fish, and feed him for a day, but teach a man to fish... And he has to buy a fishing pole, tackle, fishing line, and acquire a fishing licence."

"I got fired today for arranging the vegetables in a sexually suggestive way Apparently that's ""unacceptable behavior for a special needs teacher""."

"Got a job cleaning up leaves. I was raking it in."

"Me: Siri, what is happiness? Siri: [in Batman voice] You will never know."

"Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife is kidney. If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney."

"Watching movies with kids: If he/she hasn't seen it, eons and billions of questions. If he/she has seen it, eons and billions of spoilers."

"Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."

"Why clickbait is so effective"

"How do you make anti-freeze? Take away her blanket."

"Why don't native Americans like snow? Because it's white and all over their land."