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Joke of the Day

"""The actor who plays the villain in No Country For old Men was causing trouble in my bar last night."" ""Javier Bardem?"" ""No, but I will if he does it again."""

"Michael J Fox SMH"

"Why was the couch afraid of the chair? The chair was armed."

"It sucks how if you say hi to someone once, you're now committed to saying hi to them the rest of your entire life."

"Misplaced apostrophes are just as annoying as the question mark I've used here?"

"What's the difference between a Pakistani middle school and an Al Qaeda training ground? I dunno, I just fly the drone."

"""And why do you want to work at the aquarium?"" * imagines me with a mermaid tail swimming in the giant tank after hours* I like fish"

"""What happened?"" The bullets asked their sad bullet friend... ""I got fired."" He replied."

"my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard / their like, is this organic? do u hav a vegan option? can u make it with froyo insted"

"In lieu of a gift I liked a couple of charities on FB in your honour"