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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the iguana that couldn't change colour? He had a reptile dysfunction."

"I got hooked on Italian food in high school after my dealer sold me a bag of oregano."

"How did Rihanna know Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found the other girls lipstick on his knuckles."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee? Because his barista fucking hastes hipsters."

"What is green, and then red? Frogs in a blender."

"My desires are unconfessional. No wait. Unconditional? Pumpkin sensual? I just had it. Undone sectionals? Unmoustachable? Stunned pistachio?"

"What's the worst single thing you could do to someone? Start dating them"

"Why did the clam get in an accident? He was talking on his shellphone."

"Did you hear about the mathematician who hated negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

"I'm so sorry my pet rock attacked you. Its just he really hates arrogant douche bags. Thank god he only hit your face."