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Joke of the Day

"A Priest and a Rabbi walk by a park... The Priest turns to the Rabbi and days, ""Hey, wanna screw 'em?"" The Rabbi looks confused for a moment, and replies with, ""Out of what?"""

"Doing shots with a bunch of coked-up velociraptors."

"I'll never forget what that Pyscho said before he kicked the bucket. ""BRING ME A BUCKET, AND I'LL SHOW YOU A BUCKET."""

"Q: What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? A: If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape? Elephant grape sine theta"

"What's green and fuzzy, has six legs, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table."

"Went into a massage parlor & asked for the happy ending, now I'm tucked into bed with a Korean woman reading me Cinderella."

"I copied my Match.com bio from a used car website. White Good condition Reliable Cheap No evidence of rear end damage. Must See."

"I saw a lady with twins babies. One had a shirt that said Copy' the other Paste'. That made my day."

"Me: I wish for a lightsaber. Genie: Be realistic. Me: Ok, I wish for a boyfriend. Genie: Would you like your lightsaber in blue or green?"