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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a leopard and a camel? A fireside rug you can get a good hump on. Source: Jo Brand on QI S3; Cat's Eyes"

"You're never too old to throw random shit in people's shopping carts when they aren't looking."

"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last very long for fat people"

"Life is like a box of chocolates... It ends quicker for fat people."

"you can't believe it's not butter? buddy, almost everything is not butter"

"[Pun] Why did Henry invent the assembly line? He couldn't a-Ford not to. *bad-dum tish*"

"My WD-40 can rusted. Now that's irony."

"""Installing this app on a smartphone or tablet will mean everyone in the house can easily adjust the thermostat."" Dads in unison: ""Nooooo!"""

"Why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? Because it was two tired."

"What do more than half the U.S. population consider a gay marriage? Still not recognizable"