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Joke of the Day

"((speaking too close to the microphone at press conference)I have never watched a single episode of the Teletubbies. They look like fools"

"What did the pirate say on his eightieth birthday? Aye Matey"

"What do the Police and Pokemon have in common? They gotta catch 'Jamal"

"Did you hear about the time Orion lost an archery match? He was given a constellation prize."

"Did you hear about the industrious tree? He wanted to branch out, but his efforts yielded no fruit. But the non-industrious tree stuck to its roots."

"Doctor & Patient F Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"How do they practice safe sex in Wyoming? They mark the sheep that kick."

"Two kittens are on a slanted roof, which one slides off first? The one with the least mew."

"Where there's a will... There's a relative."

"Why Heisenberg didn't have any kids the second he found the position he lost the momentum, when he got momentum he couldn't find the position."