90178

Joke of the Day

"Yo momma so fat, when she wants to take a bath... She fills up the tub and THEN turns on the water."

"""open up, this is the police!"" ""well, I've felt alone since my girlfriend left me, I'm sad all the time-"" ""no the door open up the door"""

"Here you go, Merry Christmas! ""Dad, why'd you wrap our gifts in soft fabric?"" Because I wanted to make- Mom: NO DON'T My presents felt"

"If there's a hardship greater than putting cheese on a cracker and having it break before it gets into your mouth I've not heard of it."

"What happened to the little frog who sat on the telephone? He grew up to be a bellhop!"

"My friends told me we were going for a ride and I called ""Shotgun""... ... they did'nt tell me we we're actually going for a drive-by. FML :("

"What do you call it when a bear makes a complete rotation on both its longitudinal and lateral axes, causing it to follow a helical path? A bearl roll."

"90s Kids won't get this either Smallpox"

"A good listener always watches you speak, makes eye contact and never lets on he's thinking about something else."

"Why can't you insult Jewish people? Because they've already been roasted."