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Joke of the Day

"What if horses rode horses? And then THOSE horses rode MORE horses? Then it's like, whoa dude! Check out that big stack of horses!"

"Relationship status~ Siri saw my browser history & now she isn't talking to me either"

"What do you call a sexy Muslim A ji-hottie!"

"[In honor of Leonard Nimoy] How many ears does Spock have? Three. A left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier."

"Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game? Because all the fans have left."

"Q: Why did the lazy person buy a tall dog? - A: So that they didn't have to bend down to pet it."

"How do you tell if your friend is gay? Fuck him in the ass. As you're cumming, reach around and feel his cock. It's hard, he's definitely gay."

"Husband to wife: ""I am impressed, you only talked to your friend on the phone for 20 minutes."" Wife: ""Oh, I dialed the wrong number"""

"drummer: ""just add er on the end of your instrument"" guy who plays trumpet: ""so im a trumpeter, ok cool"" guy who plays trombone: ""oh no"""

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large-breasted crab? One's a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."