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Joke of the Day

"This is why I'm leaving /r/jokes: I have a dentist appointment. I'll be back in an hour."

"I like my women just like my wine 10 years old and locked in the cellar."

"Where was the toothbrush invented? Alabama. Anywhere else it would have been called a *teeth*brush"

"Why do lesbians shop at the Sports Authority? Because they don't like Dicks."

"I wonder why people think Jesus is coming back... I mean, he wasn't nailed to a boomerang."

"I recently entered a blindfolded masturbation competition... I haven't seen the results yet so I've no idea where I came..."

"Q: Why did Ebenezer Scrooge go to New York City? A: To see the Grumpire State Building."

"They should make a Conservative Insurance to counter Progressive, they'll never fix anything and tell you to let Jesus take the wheel."

"I like reserving tables at restaurants using unique names so I can hear the hostess announce, ""Optimus Prime? Your table for 5 is ready!"""

"I kept getting asked to stop singing ""What is Love?"". My response to this is always the same... ""I would stop if I Haddaway"""