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Joke of the Day
"What do you get if you cross a telephone with a night crawler? Ringworm!"
Next Joke
"q: what's brown and sits on the piano, steaming ? a: Beethoven's 1st movement."
"Congratulations on ""obtaining"" your yellow belt. If we're ever attacked by 3 pieces of wood being held together, you're in charge."
"Guy hears his grand kids are coming for the first time. He gets all the parts and gear, spent six hours child-proofing his home. They still got in."
"I have been checking Facebook less and less. If this continues, I'll eventually forget about all those people for the 2nd time."
"""Stop texting me. If I wanted to go on the second date, I wouldn't have stolen all your jewelry."""
"Tony Romo was depressed after yesterday's loss. He was so upset he got his gun, pointed it at his throwing hand, and pulled the trigger. He's OK, The bullet was intercepted."
"Why the young tailor couldn't finish his father's pants? Because he had no pocket money."
"""Hey, we're best friends! This is the most fun ever! Lets take some pictures!"" - drunk people"
"Why did George Lucas Cross The Road? To urinate on my childhood and sell it back to be on blu-ray for $80."