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Joke of the Day

"I say ""what"" a lot, not because I'm hard of hearing, but because I can't believe how stupid some people are"

"The President gets an Escort..."

"If I wake up early, it's only because there are a lot of things I want to eat that day."

"Tardiness makes me extremely angry. As my late wife found out."

"I love the F5 key. It s just so refreshing."

"Who called them fake potatoes and not imitaters."

"Therapist sighs, sets down glasses, rubs the bridge of his nose. ""For the last time, Christy, eating ham is not a life plan."""

"I like it when my kids are old enough to drink out of the toilet on their own. That way I don't have to get out of bed to get them a drink."

"What do you call Hitler with a fin? Adolf-fin"

"How many pancakes can you fit into a dog house? None because ice cream doesn't have bones."