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Joke of the Day

"Like a princess A man takes his girlfriend out on a date, and as they are leaving he says ""I'm going to treat you like a princess"". So they jump in his Mercedes and he drives into a wall."

"Why was the blind guy always so happy? He couldn't see any reason not to be!"

"What do you call playing a woodwind instrument and eating fast food while driving an f1 car? A McClarenet."

"How'd you get a black eye? Walked into a door. [Later, another shiner] More doors? *nods* One does not simply walk into more doors."

"I hate going left Because it's just not right."

"What's the American settler's spirit animal? The groundhog."

"Life is like a penis... Short, hard, and fat. It's the women that make it soft and easy."

"What does Team Rocket and a Peeping tom have in common? They are both always trying to get a Pikachu."

"Some people say it's not what you know, but who you know... I say it's not who you know, but whom you know."

"Alcohol not only expands the blood vessels but also communications."