81768
Joke of the Day
"How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!"
Next Joke
"My 8 yr old just asked me how the first microchip was built at the exact time I was wondering what other animals got sweaty armpits."
"Stages of Candle Burning 1: this smells nice 2: still smells nice 3: this is all I can smell now 4: this is the only scent I have ever known"
"Q: What is a blonde's definition of a naval destroyer? A: A hula hoop with a nail in it."
"I've never been to Japan, but I've seen a bunch of emojis so I think I get the idea."
"#ThoughtsInMyHead 1. How much wine can a cat drink? 2. How do you resuscitate a drunk cat? 3. Will they do an autopsy on a dead cat?"
"Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large loaf of bread? It was a crusty steed!"
"I bring our baby to the bar so I can throw her at people and slurp down their c**ktails while they're trying to catch her."
"Scientists finally discovered how an elephant trumpets. Maybe now they can get back to curing cancer..."
"Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden? We're raising mashed potatoes."