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Joke of the Day

"The secret of getting ahead is... not having a rib."

"A horse walked into a bar several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger of the situation"

"What idiot called it a contraction and not a birthquake?"

"Horse trots up and says to mirror: ""why the long face?"" Mirror says ""It's okay, I'm just a bit reflective today."" I'll be here all week folks."

"Monsters won't stop chasing me. I don't wanna play today dammit!"

"Can someone just tell me which guy Bridget Jones ends up with? I keep killing myself before the end of the movie."

"I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said 'the river or the state?'"

"What was the point in making your car louder, bro? Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic?"

"Why are white girls so odd? Because they don't *even*."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I've no idea how they got in there!"