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Joke of the Day

"What do you do when your leaders invade two countries and depose two leaders, inspiring the rise of ISIS? Call Trump Hitler."

"I just want to make enough money to live in a neighborhood where Starbucks doesn't lock their bathrooms"

"What was the border patrol agent's greatest regret? The Juan that got away."

"Why did the plane crash? Becuase the pilot was a loaf of bread. Originated from http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/jq58i/iama_request_popsicle_stick_joke_writer/"

"A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth. Patient: Doctor I have yellow teeth what do I do? Dentist: Wear a brown tie!"

"How many moths does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but how they get in there.. I don't know. (Stolen from an old Maxim in my dad's storage)"

"Me: Woohoo, I survived Thanksgiving! I can relax now. Anxiety: Haha...Christmas."

"What is Iron Man when he removes his suit? Stark naked."

"HOT SINGLES HAVE MIGRATED AWAY FROM YOUR AREA DUE TO CLIMATE CHANGE"

"How do you know your sister's on her period? Your dad's cock tastes like blood."