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Joke of the Day

"Why the plus or minus on the pregnancy test, ept? How about a simple yes or no and we'll decide if that's positive or negative."

"The only thing worse than paying for internet access in a hotel is free wireless that doesn't work."

"(interviewer): do you have any questions? (me): ya can a werewolf bite really kill a vampire?"

"What do you get when you leave a dog inside a car when it's 100 degrees outside? A hot dog."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a lobster with implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other's a busty crustacean!"

"A man has started a business in Afghanistan. He's selling landmines that look like prayer mats... Prophets are going through the roof."

"""What does it mean when you see a flag flying at half-mast outside of a mostly white high school?"" They're hiring."

"Why did the programmer confuse Halloween with Christmas? Because OCT 31 = DEC 25."

"Do you hate yourself? Do you wish someone would trip you down stairs? Do you enjoy lacerations & and surprise vomit piles? *hands you a cat*"

"What said a person who got run over by a car? ""I'm tired""."