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Joke of the Day

"I can't picture myself getting a tattoo I'll get married and have children, but a tattoo is just so permanent"

"Man: You've been very loyal but it's best we part ways Dog: I don't understand. What's the problem? Man: Your talking kinda freaks me out."

"Why are women's feet smaller than men's? So they can stand closer to the sink."

"I put a beaker of sodium hydroxide on a biography. It was base on a true story."

"yeah well i hope you go to put your hair in a ponytail but the hair tie is too loose to hold it & not big enough to tie it another time"

"The amount of stuff coming out of this woman's handbag as she searched for her keys, I wouldn't be surprised if that missing Malaysian plane is in there too."

"English class...... Teacher. One day our country will be corruption free. which tense is it?? student. Future impossible tense."

"Call a beautiful women, beautiful she will never remember Call a Fat Women Fat and She will never forget, because elephants never forget"

"Record breaking, visionary director Steven Spielberg: 'Wanna play a dull, killed off screen character?' Samuel L Jackson: 'Sure'"

"a muslim, a jew, a christian and an atheist walk into a coffee shop... and they talk, laugh, drink coffee and become good friends. thats what happens when you're not an asshole."