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Joke of the Day

"Why did the sorority girl add NaOH to her Frappuccino? Because she's a basic bitch."

"How long does it take light to travel from the sun to the earth? Not nearly as long as it would take to travel around your mom."

"Why is sonic the answer to every google search? Because he shows up the fastest."

"What is it called when men have sex with each other in the military? Tactical Insertion."

"I just saw two blind and deaf lesbians walking down the street with their hands down one anothers knickers.....I think they were lip reading?"

"Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched."

"Someone's written an album about thermometers... I've heard it's been nominated for a Mercury Prize."

"Did you know someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds? I feel bad for the poor fella."

"People are like songs.... some speak the truth and some just make sound."

"A clown sighting was reported at the office this morning but it turns out Karen put her make up on in the car again."