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Joke of the Day

"Hey baby, are you a space archaeologist? Because there's gonna be a bone for you to discover in Uranus"

"When I get depressed about an underperforming tweet, I think about starving kids in Africa & how lucky they are to never experience my pain."

"Why was 10 afraid of 11? Because Eleven has crazy superpowers."

"In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY. My best time so far is 7 min."

"What are the two sexiest barn yard animals? Brown-chicken-brown-cow"

"It's just a matter of time before they add the word ""Syndrome"" after my last name."

"Sigh. Woodstock '99 was a terrible use of this Time Machine."

"""I'm so lucky to have you.""--- Me to my hand. No, it's not what you think. I just watched Hook."

"why did the boy drop his ice cream he was hit by a bus"

"What's the difference between my neighbor and a necrophiliac? My neighbor fucked my wife yesterday, but the necrophiliac had to wait until today."