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Joke of the Day

"How do depressed people play the violin? With a razor and their wrist."

"This girl on the train is really hot but she's wearing those huge sunglasses so there's still a chance she's a 900 pound buffalo."

"Police Chief: Why did you ticket the computer? Officer: It was speeding along the information highway."

"I'm not a gynechologist But I'll take a look"

"What is blurrier the more you squint? Everything."

"Who was King Author's most well rounded Knight? Sir Cumference."

"(BAD JOKE) Did someone say pretzels? Yes, you just did"

"In Hidden Valley, childhood obesity is covered up in creamy ranch dressing."

"If a zombie approaches you, bop it on the nose with a rolled-up magazine and say NO."

"What has 50 legs but can't walk? Half a centipede."