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Joke of the Day

"Goes to church to find God's love. Friendzoned."

"Yeah, bitches! I just sharpened a pencil with a KNIFE. I feel like such a man. I'm gonna go show my mom. BRB"

"I dont mean to sound racist, but why is my baby black? *doctor sighs for like 3 mins* ""Sir, its an ultrasound"" *Seinfeld bass riff for days*"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Ten. One to change the lightbulb and nine to blog about how empowering it was."

"Why did Adele cross the road? Because she could only say Hello from the other side."

"bae is acting so cute and imaginary tonight"

"Why didn't anyone show up to Kim Jong-il's funeral? The reports of his death were unbereavable."

"Advertising for a babysitter Apparently, saying I prefer the babysitter not have a gag reflex isn't as appropriate as it seemed when I wrote the ad."

"When grocery shopping, I only buy foods that can also be used as a weapon. Cantaloupe is a good example of this."

"A seal walks into a bar.... And the bartender says, ""what are you going to have?"" The seal replies, ""anything except Canadian club."""