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Joke of the Day

"Bought some sneakers from my drug dealer... Not sure what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day!"

"Good guy in movie shot 3 times: I must save my family Me, kinda sore from trampoline sesh: sorry gramma can't make it to your 85th bday"

"Gays are leading the fight against overpopulation and we need to join them in this fight before it's too late! But first..."

"What is Saddam Hussein's favorite band? My Chemical Romance"

"I once farted in the Apple Store and everybody got pissed It's not my fault they don't have Windows"

"Whoever coined the phrase ""smooth as a baby's bottom"" must have been a real creep."

"You know the difference between Sadistic and Masochistic? No one has ever called me a masochistic son of a bitch."

"Give a man a jacket, and he will be warm for the day. Teach a man to jacket, and he will never leave his house."

"If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon."

"What's the worst thing a woman can hear after giving Willie Nelson a blow job? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""