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Joke of the Day

"What do... A grape and a bunny rabbit have in common? They're both purple. Except for the bunny rabbit."

"I bet if I could see into the future, I would use that power to watch a lot more TV."

"I went to the doctor and said, ""My penis is burning."" He said, ""That means someone is talking about it."" - Garry Shandling. RIP."

"Poor Chinese tourists have to buy souvenirs in other countries made by themselves in China."

"Why are bass guitarists always standing at the front door? Because they don't know when to come in."

"I told a joke to a bunch of guys. They laughed. Now I'm going to prison. For manslaughter."

"Hm im scared of getting murdered. better go watch 20 tv shows about murder"

"""Will you please stop chasing heavy women?"" ""I am not chasing them...they just happen to land on me and I cant get up."""

"Wife: wow, we must have had a lot of trick or treaters come by! Me: wha? Her: Because all the candy is gone Me: Ooooh right. So many."

"Extra car key Extra house key Extra storage unit key Key to an extra apartment with a liquor cabinet - Keys to a successful relationship"