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Joke of the Day

"Hello OnStar? Yes I have an emergency. My wife thinks Pikachu is better than Squirtle. I left her at a gas station. Can you go get her?"

"the miracle of being a teen mom when you get pregnant young and your baby is born, hes feet are so small but even so he manages to stomp your dreams and goals."

"How do the people of northern Iraq manage to get so much done? The Kurds have their ways"

"Why was Henry the Eighth so fat? Because he Tudor house."

"What do flies do at church? Flyspray"

"What is the speed limit for sex? 68 . Because at 69 you flip over and eat it."

"Bunnyprofessor"

"My friend said his dog retrieved a ball he threw over a mile away. I don't know, that seems pretty far fetched."

"I spend way too much time deciding on whether I should use ""Lol"", ""Lmao"", ""Rofl"", or ""Haha"" in my text message."

"'Knock Knock.' 'Who's there?' The pilot."