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Joke of the Day

"Just ran over chumbawamba with my car at 80mph Lying Bastards!"

"Sean Connery has been scouring Israel for ancient musical instruments. When asked about his progress, he replied, ""I've only found one shofar."""

"A fondue party... But instead of bread, it's more cheese. And instead of people, it's even more cheese."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Boo ! Boo who ? Just Boo ! I'm a ghost !"

"While driving home early one day, I saw a man running naked I pulled over and asked, ""Why are you running like that?"" He answered, ""Because you're coming home early."""

"Hipsters only listen to songs like Surfin' Bird by the Trashmen You've probably never heard of it."

"What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want? They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east."

"Why are Taylor Swift's songs always a hit? (WARNING POKEMON JOKE) Because swift never misses."

"What do you call a person who enjoy mondays? Unemployed"

"Do you ever get a shooting pain through your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they are stabbing it? No? How about now? Now?"