71965

Joke of the Day

"I'm single for so long My last girlfriend dumped me on MSN."

"Brought Turkey home from the deli and my wife yells ""I asked for Ham!"" Sorry, wrong sub."

"Did you hear about the 3 new types of Barbie dolls? There's tall, short, and great personality"

"What language do pigs speak? Depends on which country they're from."

"Why did the cow get a divorce? Because she couldn't take her husbands bullshit."

"what's the difference between an old greyhound bus terminal and a lobster with 36B breasts? one's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean"

"Friend: just make small talk *later, on date* Me: so...grains of sand Her: uh yea- Me: dwarves Her: are u okay- Me: bottle caps"

"The EU is much like a bad fart. Better out than in."

"I used to date a chick liked it when I made her angry while we were in bed. She was into hardcore scorn."

"Sometimes cops don't believe it when I explain that my mom's dying wish was to keep her cremated ashes inside a bag of blow in my glove box."