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Joke of the Day

"Why can't single women fart Because they don't have an asshole until they're married."

"One of the underrated 2011 subplots is the battle between local car dealer commercials & hostage videos on who has worse production value."

"magician: ""think of a letter, any letter"" me: ""ok"" magician: ""now double it"" me: [visibly confused]"

"There are two secrets in life The first is ""Never tell anyone everything you know"""

"Doctor asked his patient... A doctor asked his patient: Do you speak when you're sleeping? -No, I speak when the others are sleeping. I'm a teacher."

"What's the difference between a blind hunter and a constipated owl? One shoots but can't hit while the other hoots but can't shit"

"To make a mistake is human. To admit a mistake is stupid."

"I got aids in prison.. Hearing aids. I should've used them though, I might've been able to hear the guy that snuck up on me in the shower and gave me HIV."

"I call my genitalia the Severance Package... After its seen it usually ends relationships."

"How do you make the 12th man Happy? FIRE BEVELL"