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Joke of the Day

"The US won gold in shooting They have good schools for it"

"Happy International Women's day. Or a sad one. Or an angry one. Or a passive aggressive one. You never really know with women."

"I like my women with curves. Lots and lots of curves. In a sort of spiral shape, maybe with ketchup. Curly fries. I like curly fries"

"Just witnessed a white girl take a selfie with her coffee in Starbucks. I always heard the legends but never thought I'd see it in the wild."

"What's a vampire's fetish? Neckrophilia"

"What did the cannibal ask for in his burrito? Human beans"

"What are the most fucked up jokes you have? Mine is: How do you make a scout cry twice? You wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear."

"Listening to ska is like a bad hand job... It's all upstrokes"

"A vegan girl told me that, ""If you eat beef, you're basically a velociraptor."" In what world is that not totally awesome."

"If you go by ""there are plenty more fish in the sea"" you'll never find love cause let's start with the fact that you think you can date fish"