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Joke of the Day
"A baby is like a bee farm I don't have one, but if I did, I would stay the fuck away from it."
Next Joke
"If I ever have a daughter I want to name her Noe. It would be pronounced like Noel and spelled the same but with no 'L'."
"Becoming a vegetarian Is a big missed steak"
"The rest of these people must be totally shitfaced. -me, driving in England"
"Why were the Indians the first ones here? Because they had reservations."
"Fight Club, but instead of blowing up all the financial institutions, they reset all twitter follower counts back to zero."
"I spilled coffee on my laptop. now it won't go into sleep mode.."
"One day, I hope you choke on all the shit you talk."
"LPT: The best time to stand behind someone is when they are watching something that makes them think it is their imagination."
"Whats the cheapest type of meat? Deer balls, they are under a buck"