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Joke of the Day

"In the time it took me to RT in Favstar I could have written the tweet in calligraphy and hand delivered it to all 7600 of my followers."

"I'm so sick of gravity! It's really brining me down."

"Just been reading how more people die from choking on sweets' packaging than the sweets themselves. Gums don't kill people, wrappers do."

"What can't you hide in a basement full of dead hookers? My erection"

"Today's joke from Russian-language Internet ""You know, they've built a George Orwell memorial in Russia!"" 'What? Where?"" ""Pretty much everywhere."""

"What do you call a prostitute with her hands down her skirt? Self employed"

"Dating is collecting information about someone until you realize you don't like them"

"Nice try ""blocked number"", but I don't even answer the phone for people I know."

"What's a telemarketer's favourite element? Scamdium."

"I was in a bar the other day... and I saw a man trying to chat up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one."