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Joke of the Day

"Should I have a baby after 25? No, 25 is enough"

"People dating on the internet have it so easy. Back in my day, a man would walk uphill both ways in the snow to disappoint a woman."

"10 years ago, as a joke, I told everyone I was giving up sex for Lent. Haven't gotten laid since. Well played, God."

"I like to have a glass of water around to make sure there aren't any dinosaurs approaching."

"If you don't react when the Dr. hits your knee with the mallet, the Hippocratic Oath says he has to kill you with a shotgun right then."

"*sends you a pic of a kitten* *you reply, ""Awe""* *face melts* *responds, ""We've been over this already, it's ""Aww""* *deletes your number*"

"I went running today but came back after 5 minutes because I forgot something I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 5 minutes."

"Did you guys hear about the joke about the high wall? It's so funny, I'm still trying to get over it."

"Teacher: Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago ? Pupil: Me !"

"I'll never forget my grandfather's last words Stop shaking the ladder, you little bastard!"