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Joke of the Day

"Some people ask me why I never hold a grudge. I've always hated those people."

"what type of jeans does Mario wear? denim denim denim"

"Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana BATMAN! Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana BATMAN! -Me, sorting through my grandma's mail."

"What do you call a gay vegetarian? A vegetarian."

"She told me she liked it doggy style so I gave her a treat & took her for a walk."

"Q: How can you get out of a locked room with a piano in it? A: Play the piano until you find the right key."

"How many pick-up artists does it take to change a lightbulb? Zero. They just keep praising and negging it, and then get upset when it doesn't screw."

"There's no actual reason to believe that eating this entire bag of Doritos will make me feel better. That's why it's called faith."

"What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple."

"Mr. and Mrs. Needle were so proud of their son when he grew up to be an upstanding citizen. While growing up, he was a little prick."