67610

Joke of the Day

"Can I go out and do drugs tonight dad? EXCUSE ME?! *sighs* MAY I go out and do drugs tonight dad *snaps newspaper* that's better"

"I'm okay with selling fake ID's to minors because they're all organ donor cards."

"Jason's wife Liane wanted something that in 6 seconds goes from 0-200.. So he bought her a bathroom scale. You're fat liane, don't sugar coat it. Because you'll just eat that too."

"I'm not making any resolutions this year because I'm still working on the ones from 2003."

"Why is one side of the V always longer than the other when geese are flying south for the winter ? It's because there are more geese on that side."

"A Mexican walks into work..."

"Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand seeing a man have a good time."

"What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already had to tell her twice."

"What is it? It has legs, but doesn't walk, beak, but it doesn't bite and wings, but it doesn't fly. What is it? -A dead crow"

"Welcome to Alzheimer's Club I see a lot of new faces today"