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Joke of the Day

"Nazis would love heather bresch Because she is killing off the genetically impure"

"I slept like a log, which means my underside was moist and bugs kept crawling up my crack."

"I don't have a problem with alcohol. Only without it."

"Two seats open. One next to a good looking girl who noticed me as I walked in. The other by a wall outlet. She'll find love in another man."

"When I'm at a bar with my cousin she doesn't think it's funny when I yell 'BUT HE'S YOUR GYNECOLOGIST!' every time the music dies down."

"I speak both universal languages: 1. English 2. Louder & slower English"

"How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don't show it to her."

"The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close."

"Should have never gave my cat a lemon, now he's walking around like a sour puss."

"#rubbishjokes I don't like Russian dolls. They are so full of themselves."