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Joke of the Day

"I was thinking of opening up a new business... For teenage abortions called: Little miss conceptions"

"When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's ""art"" and ""music"" , but when I do it I'm ""wasted"" and ""have to leave the Hardware Store"""

"TIL that AIDS can be caused by anal sex... As In Doggie Style"

"I was intimate with a clown once. She just tickled my funny bone."

"Volkswagen emissions test. You know guys, this whole deal with the Volkswagen emissions test just goes to show that the Germans will do anything to gas you. I will enjoy my trip to hell."

"I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me... She calls me her sixty second lover...."

"What's the most sensitive part on a female dinosaur? Her clitosaurus..."

"I had a dog that always used to chase people on motorcycles In the end I had to take the keys off him"

"My grandpa was always disappointed in me.... When I was five my grandpa was always disappointed in me. He would tell me ""when I was your age I was six."""

"Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong."