65191

Joke of the Day

"(Animal spelling bee) Owl: Your word is Mississippi Snake: M I Sssssss Sssssssss Badger: *in audience* OH FFS THIS IS GONNA TAKE FOREVER"

"Why do hippies wear corduroy? It's groovy!"

"When I see babies who breastfeed crying I know it's because they don't have Oreos to go with the milk."

"If your mouse doesn't work, what is it? Unemployed."

"There is nothing wrong with window puns, I just don't like to shed light on them."

"Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes? It had the spoon, but not the 4k."

"Q: What Biblical and Renaissance characters does Hillary most resemble? A: Jezebel and Lucretia Borgia."

"The Calbuco volcano is very hot right now... But everything around it is Chile."

"My gang hand signals look a lot like the finger in the hole motion, followed by the call me gesture."

"Do you want to join the ""P"" club? Congratulations, ur-ine!"