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Joke of the Day

""" How was your blind date ? "" "" Terrible ! He showed up in a 1935 Rolls Royce. "" "" What's so terrible about that ? "" "" He was the original owner ! """

"Before takeoff our flight attendant asked everyone to turn off their Samsung Galaxy phones You know, the ones with the headphone jack"

"[OC] Are vegetarians allowed to have pudding? If so how can they have pudding if they don't eat their meat?"

"Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!"

"Why black people are so tall ? Because they're/their kNEe GROwS."

"Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I cant even get into my own pants."

"Just updated my resume. Changed 'ambitious' to 'am-no-longer-bitious'."

"A German, an American and a Russian walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them suspiciously and says, ""Is this some kind of a joke?"""

"Why did Adele cross the road? So she could say hello from the other side"

"I work at a furniture store. My boss asked me to label and price all the new items. I said, ""Hey boss. How do you want me to label this stone armchair?"" He said, ""No man, clay chair."""