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Joke of the Day

""" How was your blind date ? "" "" Terrible ! He showed up in a 1935 Rolls Royce. "" "" What's so terrible about that ? "" "" He was the original owner ! """

"What's red, 6in. long and my gf cries when I feed it to her? Her Miscarriage."

"How many Amish people does it take to change a lightbulb? A what?"

"As I drop my child off to her first day of school it reminds me of how my mom dropped me off as well...except mom was ticketed for littering"

"Life isn't about winning and losing. It's about wishing you would have won and wondering why you lost."

"What effect does global warming have on Pennsylvania? It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."

"The worst part about being introduced to new people is the panic moment where I think ""Pay attention! Pay attention!!!"" and miss their name."

"3 K's don't a right They make a white"

"Dating tip: to impress your date, put a napkin on your lap. Along with your plate. And the table. And the waiter. You're now the restaurant."

"Did you hear about the midget psychic that escaped from jail? He's a small medium at large."