64319

Joke of the Day

"Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones"

"Rick Astly will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except for one... He's never gonna give you ""UP""."

"Transsexuals just aren't what they used to be"

"What do a hillbilly and a nepotist blackberry executive have in common? They both give their relatives rim jobs."

"I decided to take an aerobics class. I bent... twisted... gyrated... jumped up and down... and perspired for a half an hour. But by thetime I got my tights on.... the class was over!"

"reminder that Pop Secret was initially very poorly translated in Japan, where it was called ""Deceptions of the Father"""

"*pulls away from kissing my girlfriend's twin* TWIN: she'll never find out about us ME: thanks dude you're a trustworthy guy"

"There is rumor of a new ""Amish Flu"" out of Pennsylvania... the symptoms are low grade fever, and you will get a little hoarse and Buggy."

"Did Noah include termites on the ark?"

"Where is your 1,000 word essay? ""Right here"" *pulls out selfie* That's a picture... ""A picture is worth 1,000 words"" *becomes valedictorian*"