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Joke of the Day
"Stop calling me a Karma Whore I'm a Karma Escort."
Next Joke
"My phone doesn't auto capitalize the 'G' in god but it auto capitalizes the 'K' in Kevin. So now I worship Kevin."
"Did you hear the news about the failed plan to send ISIS a shipment of deactivated bomb vests? People are surprised it's blowing up."
"Somebody called me 'pretentious' the other day.nnI nearly choked on my decaf double choc mocha latte."
"are everyone all al'right no! you are all al'left"
"If I had a pound for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive."
"Don't give a man a fish. Teach a man to fish. Then sue that man for fishing on your property."
"What was the best part of being a blind smallpox inoculator in the 18th century? The great stories you get to read everyday."
"I just saw two people having aggressive sex while camping. They were fucking in tents."
"people are like ""pokemon is basically dogfighting"" but tbh if a dog with ice powers fought a ghost dog I would probably peek over that fence"