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Joke of the Day
"People who pronounce didn't as.""dih-in't"" please doh-on't."
Next Joke
"[talking to life insurance agent] Let me get this right. I pay you until I die, then someone ELSE gets the money? No thanks."
"18: I'm going to ask the stylist what color screams parental issues. Me: ..."
"Doctor: are you sexually active. Me: I'm not even physically active"
"I was gonna make a dubstep joke. ** . . .** But i'll just drop it."
"DOCTOR: u broke ur leg in five places, how did this happen ME:*flashback of me trying to carry too much ice cream up the stairs* bears."
"How can you tell a blonde is having a really bad day? Her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil!"
"I stole some vegetables today I was out doing the grocery shopping earlier when I realised I really needed a piss. So I took a leek."
"""Voop voop voop voop voop voop voop voop voop."" -corduroys"
"What do you call a prostitute playing bingo? A bing-hoe."