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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? A Hippo is heavy and a Zippo is a little lighter."

"Didn't have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 15 books and showered."

"People say you never see ninjas but I see their girlfriends hanging around mosques all the damn time."

"Do insurance companies consider property damages caused by ISIS... an act of god?"

"I like my wine like I like my women Stored in a dark basement till they're 5 years old"

"Who sews really really fast? Tailor Swift"

"I think the only thing a bike helmet protects you from is getting laid"

"Mary was in the prophet making business"

"""I think I have split personalities"", ......Said Steve, being frank."

"Girl, do you work at Arby's? Because you've got a roast beef pussy."