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Joke of the Day

"If you're American walking into the bathroom and you're American walking out of the bathroon, what're you in the bathroom? European"

"I had to give away peeve, my Great Dane. But I don't really care because once he grew up he was my biggest pet peeve."

"My grandfather was an ace dog fighter he taught Michael Vick everything he knows!"

"What's the only disease a potato can get? tuber-culosis"

"Before I had my son, I used to hate kids. Now I just hate yours."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Hummer? The porcupine has the pricks on the outside."

"What's the difference between a gun and a feminist? A gun only has one trigger."

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Trick question. The answer is C: The farmer."

"My voicemail greeting is just me strangling a cat while reading bible passages."

"Hey, man. Can I get a cold one? ""Sorry sir, the morgue is closed after 6."""