63087

Joke of the Day

"I bought my kid some McDonald's today. He really doesn't like stocks though."

"Two fish are in a tank. One looks to the other and asks, ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas? He went to the Shell station."

"Hell yes we can still be friends if you don't drink, I'm not that shallow. You have a driver's license, right??"

"An opossum is just a regular possum that reenacts the diner scene from When Harry Met Sally."

"Why could Darren jump higher than Zeus? because he was mortall."

"I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up."

"Destroying the Death Star was a terrorist act. Allah Ackbar!!!!!"

"What file does a Knight store his music on? A **MIDI**-val file."

"Why is poop tapered? So your butt hole doesn't slam shut!"