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Joke of the Day

"Gandalf was an alien. It's right there in his name: Gandalf the GREY. Wake up, sheeple!"

"you mean the story about the elderly lady who had some sort of fur coming out of her lower back? oh thats nothing but an old wives tail"

"What's the difference between a large pizza and a bass guitarist? A large pizza can feed a family of four!"

"Hey Seattle, wanna win the Superbowl? ""No thanks, we'll pass"""

"teacher: there's no such thing as a stupid question me: are sharks just mean dolphins teacher: ok i was wrong"

"Did you hear the joke about ebola? Never mind, you won't get it."

"What is Harry Potters abortion spell? Fetus-Deletus"

"Michael Schumacher has spoken out about global warming, in a statement he said ""Things are getting pretty bad, just yesterday I was skiing and when I woke up this morning it was summer"""

"Me: Why doesn't he love me? Nachos: Eat more of me and find out! Me: *Chewing* So? Nachos: We need outside counsel. Send pizza down here."

"Wife: He's always rewriting the past.. Therapist: is this true? Me: [doesn't hear because I'm typing 'Shrek killed Hitler' into Wikipedia]"