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Joke of the Day

"Two frogs are in a bathtub getting washed. One frog turns to the other and says: Please pass the soap. The other frog says: What do you think I am a typewriter?"

"My friend asked me why I haven't texted him in such a long while, I replied, ""My phone screen broke and now it's completely unusable... so I lost touch."""

"I like my violence like I like my beer.. Domestic."

"I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge."

"Why are Dendrochronologists Forever Alone?"

"Want to take a look at my benefit package?"

"What gun would Jesus outlaw first? A nail gun"

"""Pay attention, 007; this might look like an ordinary suitcase but, if you push this button, a handle comes out and you can wheel it."""

"What do you do when your wife starts smoking? Slow down and apply lube"

"Life is like a box of chocolates If you're fat it's not going to last long."