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Joke of the Day

"did you hear the one about the deaf guy? niether did he."

"I was once an avid smoker of weed... I did weed everywhere I did it in rain I did it in snow But I did not, in hail."

"Astronaut: Dave, that's not necessary in zero-G. Penguin: [flapping wings] Just let me have this."

"Where do Sith lords go to shop? The Darth Mall."

"How do you propose to a stoner? Marriage, you wanna?"

"Your password must be at least 8 characters long & contain a capital letter, a number, and a hideous personal secret."

"The best thing about smartphones is that you don't have to refold maps anymore."

"My brother wanted me to watch his kid So I spent HOURS and HOURS childproofing my house. Wouldn't you know it? That fucker still got in."

"Forgot it's April fool's! What's the simplest way to really quickly get some friends so I can prank them?"

"Nice guys don't finish last, fat guys do."